The Dark Lord
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So long
39 Replies

S'been fun guys, but I'm heading out.  I won't be posting on the forums anymore.  I'll still be doing the RPGs, so don't any of my fellow players freak out.  And I'll still chat on my profile, but…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by 117 Mar 21, 2012.

25 Replies

Okay, anyone else watch this?  It's a BBC version of Sherlock Holmes set in modern day London, and it's epic.  I mean seriously.  This thing has the most accurate representation of Sherlock every put…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Irene Starr Jul 18, 2016.

101 Replies

The Sanctuary is for, and I quote "Open discussion of anything and everything related to the Codebearer Series".  Please note the emphasized parts. Apparently a lot of you read the "Open discussion…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by SonicFan Sep 16, 2014.

97 Replies

You wanna learn how to roleplay?  We can help.  Seriously.  If you want to learn, we’re willing to teach.  And I’m not just talking to you new people to the site, I’m talking to everyone.  We want to…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by The Dark Lord Jan 31, 2012.


Question your reality

The Dark Lord's Blog

Some Serious RPG Rules

As the title says, these are some serious rules.  I'm just copying and pasting these things, and they can be found in the Roll-playing for Dummies thread in the RPG forum.  These are just really great guidelines, some of which I have covered, but…


Posted on June 6, 2011 at 8:13pm — 7 Comments

Roleplaying for Dummies

First of all, I'd like to say that I don't think any of you are dummies.  That's just the name of all those books, so yeah... ;P


Secondly, to learn about the two key elements in roleplaying (plot and character) check out my blog…


Posted on June 4, 2011 at 10:48pm — 9 Comments

Roleplaying: Plot is Everything

All right, boys and girls.  It's time for Mike's take on roleplaying.  If you believe you know how to do it already, read this anyway.  If you've never played before, well this is your lucky day.  If you're one of the top roleplaying personages…


Posted on June 1, 2011 at 10:30am — 7 Comments

Creating a Character

    Unlike some, perhaps most, people think, a character is not simply a name, age, and description.  A character, be it for a story, rpg, or whatever, is a working progress.  A character is never complete until the story ends, and even then…


Posted on May 7, 2011 at 8:30pm — 5 Comments

Comment Wall (4,859 comments)

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At 10:26pm on November 9, 2020, Tanwen said…

Dang, you still have your Mod status. Crazy. 

At 5:45pm on December 14, 2018, Kademee said…

So two years later almost... Do you still have email alerts? 

At 7:16pm on June 29, 2017, Redwallgirl said…

Hey, Mike! I was on for a bit of housekeeping and thought I would actually say a proper goodbye! It looks like you're not actually on here anymore, but I figured whatever, you might be a nostalgic dork like me and check back here some day. ;) So thanks for being a cool friend, for giving me some solid, honest critique on my writing, and for all the great times. I hope you're doing good. So long! :)

At 9:35am on May 24, 2017, Meme Man said…
At 12:48am on January 7, 2017, Tanwen said…

Hey Mike! Long time no... anything. 

At 12:48am on January 7, 2017, Kademee said…

Hey Mike! Long time no... anything.

At 2:51pm on November 26, 2015, The Destroyer Of Worlds said…


At 1:32am on November 24, 2015, Meme Man said…

Please come back! ;(

At 1:36am on October 5, 2015, Meme Man said…

You should be on more. Blade is the only active Mod.

At 10:08pm on July 19, 2015, Meme Man said…

Oh. So that's why you haven't been on?

At 7:57pm on July 12, 2015, Meme Man said…

Where have you been O dark lord.

At 11:10pm on November 30, 2014, 117 said…

Galbatorix is eating baby bunnies. XD

At 9:50pm on November 27, 2014, 117 said…

This made me laugh pretty hard.

Gotta love Murtagh.

At 9:39pm on November 27, 2014, 117 said…

The Dining on vroengard

At 11:27am on November 26, 2014, 117 said…

Yeah, the humor is in their reactions.
"They do realize we're brothers, right?"
"It doesn't seem to bother them."

I also find it funny how whenever the show inserts something from the fandom, Sam and Dean almost always react to it with disapproval, if not disgust.

At 6:06pm on November 24, 2014, 117 said…

It's awful.  XD
So we were talking about incest in anthropology this morning, and the whole time I'm thinking about how some Supernatural fans are shipping Sam and Dean together, like that one episode when Becky is writing fanfiction, and it was so hard not to laugh.

At 12:01pm on November 24, 2014, 117 said…

Om my gosh, that's funny. XD

At 12:01pm on November 24, 2014, 117 said…

"Good night, son."

"Goodnight to you too, Dad." *smiles*


At 10:51pm on November 23, 2014, 117 said…

Okay, so, insert a father and son into all the giggling that occurred during the last two nights. All the smiling. Just think about it.

At 8:07pm on November 22, 2014, 117 said…

Haha, okay, no father-son thing. XD

Brom will always be missed. As well as Murtagh; I liked him a lot.


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Me, myself, and I, what a great group of guys. And that's my cookie face.

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Hey, looky at what I found.  A spot for me 'about me' doohikitor (and my badge).  But then, do I need to say anything about myself?  Well, I guess I should, for those of you who don't know me.  Let's see, where should I start...  My name is not Mista Stickabee.  That's as good a place as any.  I will not tell you my real name, but you will probably be able to guess it from my next sentence. 

  On the old site I was known as Mike, mainly.  A couple of people probably knew me by Classified.  Either way, both were me, and both still are, actually.  I enjoy writing and am currently engaged in writing a novel.  If you have any interest in it, I post a chapter of it every Friday in the Bookshop.  The thread is Nayng.  Anyway, other then writing I like to play on the Wii, read, and do other miscellaneous things.  If you want gads and gads of other facts about me and trivial opinions of mine, you can check out my blog post thingy with the crazy long quiz in it.  That will provide you with all the little quirks about me that you could want.  And if you want to delve deep into my soul, you can check out my group, B.O.R.E.D, (here's the link. ).  If you find that you can delve deep into my soul through that, please inform me, cause that is not what I'm intending when I'm posting in there.

  Okay, I think that about covers it.  If you can't find what you want in the above or any of those reference points (or you just don't want to look) you can always just ask.  I will reply, you can be sure.  Very quickly to, because I spend altogether to much time on this site...

  And here, to make everyone laugh, are a bunch of jokes.


A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full."
The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies."
The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion."
The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?"
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."
"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
"That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"
Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"


When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."

"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "

"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"

2) How many seconds are in a year?

3) What is God's first name?

"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."

"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."

"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.

"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"

St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."

"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."

"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"

"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."

St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"


Here's our version of the stories of the Bible if they were to be told by a child.


In the beginning, which was close to the start, there wasn't anything except God, darkness and some gas. The Bible says, "The Lord, thy God, is one," but I think He has to be much older than that.

Anyway, God made the world and then He said, "Give me some light," and somebody gave it to Him. He split an atom and made Eve. Adam and Eve didn't wear any clothes, but they weren't embarrassed because God hadn't invented mirrors, yet.

Adam and Eve sinned by eating one bad apple and they were driven out of the Garden of Eden. I'm not sure what God drove them in because He hadn't invented cars, either.

Adam and Eve's son, Cain, hated his brother as long as he was Abel. After a while, all of the first people died, except Methuselah, who lived to be, like, a million years old.


The next important person was Noah. He was a really good guy, but one of his kids was a Ham. Noah built a big boat in his back yard and put his family and a lot of animals in it. He asked his neighbors to join them, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Joseph

God must have a sense of humor. He created us, didn't He?

Next were Abraham, his son Isaac and his grandson Jacob. Esau was Jacob's brother, but Jacob was more famous because Esau sold him his birthmark for some pot roast. Jacob had a son, Joseph. Joseph wore a really loud sports coat.


Moses was the next important man. His real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel lights out of Egypt because of the bad Pharaoh. God sent ten plagues on the Egyptians. Some of the plagues were mice, frogs, bugs, lice and no cable.

Every day in the desert, God fed the Israel lights some manicotti. He gave them His "Top Ten" commandments. They were things like: don't lie, don't cheat, don't dance, don't smoke, don't covet your neighbor's stuff (whatever that means). He also told them to humor their fathers and mothers.


Moses' best helper was Joshua. He was the first person to use spies. He fought the battle of Geritol. That's when the fence fell down on the town.


David came after Joshua. They made him king after he killed a giant with a slingshot.


One of David's sons was called Solomon. He had, like, 300 wives and 500 porcupines. They told us in Sunday School that he was a really wise man, but that doesn't sound too wise to me.

Clean Religious Jokes

Jonah and Other Prophets

After Solomon came a whole lot of major league prophets. Jonah was one of them. He was swallowed by a whale, then barfed up on the beach.

There were some other minor league prophets, but they weren't too important.

The New Testament

When the Old Testament was done, they started the New Testament. Jesus was the Star. He was born in a barn in the town of Bethlehem. I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because then, when my mother says to me, "Close the door. Were you born in a barn?" I could say, "As a matter of fact, I was."

Jesus argued a lot with the Chief Priests and Democrats. He had twelve opossums. Most of them were good, but Judas Asparagus was not. He was so bad, they named a really yucky vegetable after him.

Jesus healed some people and leopards. Then He preached to the Germans on the Mount. But the Chief Priests and Democrats were mad at him and put Him on trial. Pilot was too chicken to stick up for Him, so he just washed his hands.

Jesus died for our sins and came back to life again. He went to heaven, but will come back at the end of the aluminum. We can read about this in the Book of the Revolution.


The photographer for a National Magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he franctically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled "Let's go Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the North side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"


WARNING: Blonde jokes.

Ok, well there is this guy named Tom. He recently had a new beautiful blonde move in next door. One day Tom was mowing his yard and the blonde came out and went to her mailbox then slammed it shut and stomped back into her house. A few minutes later she came out again and went to her mailbox and slammed it shut even harder and ran back into the house. About 3 minutes later she came back out and, with a furious look on her face, went to the mailbox yet again. She slammed it shut harder than ever nearly breaking it. She screamed, and on her way back to the house Tom, astonished with his new neihgbor's behavior, politly asked the blonde why do you keep running out, slamming you mailbox, and going back into your house angry? The blonde then replied my stinkin computer keeps saying you've got mail!


ok, here's the deal. there's this brunette, and a redhead, and a blond and theyre about to be excecuted, ya know, where they have a bunch of people line up with guns and they shoot the person. ok, well, the brunette goes out there to be shot, and the excecutioner goes, "ready..... aim......" suddenly the brunette screams, "tornado!!" so everybody freaks out and she escapes in the pandemonium. then the redhead comes out, and just as the excecutioner yells, "ready.......aim......" she yells, "hurricane!!" and escapes in the pandemonium. then the blond comes out, and the excutioner shouts, "ready.......aim....." and the blond screams with all her might, "FIRE!!!!"


END of blonde joke section.

I guy breaks into a house and is creeping across the pitch black living room when he hears a voice, "WATCH OUT, Jesus is behind you!" Startled he flicks on his flashlight and breathes a sigh of relief to see a parrot in front of him. Again the parrot says "Watch Out Jesus is behind you." The robber says to the parrot, "What's your name then?" and the parrot replies "Moses." The robber laughs and says, "Who on earth would call a parrot Moses?!" and the parrot says, "the same one that would call a rottweiler Jesus!"


Why did the coach go out in the field?  To get his quarterback.




One day Ms. Katz (a teacher at the local elementary school)decided she was going to prove to her class that there was no God. So after informing her class of her intention, she called little Johnny up to the front of the room. "Johnny," she said, "go to the window." So he did. "Look out and tell me if you see the playground." she instructed him. "Yes," he said. "Do you see the children?" "Well, yes mam." "Go to the door... do you see that tree? That flower? That cloud?" Little Johnny replied "Yes" to all of her queries. Then she asked, "do you see God?" Of course, no was his answer. "So if you cant see him, he must not be there." She concluded. At that, little Susie raised her hand. "Do you mind if I ask Johnny some questions?" "Sure," replied the teacher. "Okay, Johnny. So, you saw the play ground and the children, right?" "Yup," he replied "And you saw the the tree? The flower? The cloud?" "Yup" "And do you see that eraser? That desk?" She continued. "Yup" "Do you see the teacher?" "Yup" "Do you see her brain...?"


A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?" She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?" From the back of the room came a voice... "He'd still be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries!"


A Pastor decided to take a sunday off and go golfing instead. He drove to a far course, to avoid meeting any parishiners. When St. Peter saw this he went to God, "You are just going to ALLOW him to get away with this?!" "Don't worry. I've got it under control," God replied calmly. Soon, St. Peter was watching the Pastor's game. By afternoon he had made a perfect score. A hole in one every single time! St. Peter was absolutely furious, "God, you said you would handle it and he got a perfect score! Tell me, how is that punishment?!" God smiled and said, "Tell me, who is he going to tell?"



It seems a cowboy from Colorado skipped church one Sunday to go bear hunting in the mountains. As he turned the corner along the path, he and a bear collided. The cowboy stumbled backwards, slipped off the trail and began tumbling down the mountain with the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the cowboy crashed into a boulder, sending his rifle in one direction and breaking both legs. As the bear closed in, the cowboy cried out in desperation, "Lord, I'm sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me and save me! Lord, please make that bear a Christian." Suddenly, the clouds parted and a beam of light shown down on the bear. The bear skidded to a halt at the cowboy's feet, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and said, "God, bless this food which I am about to receive."


Supposedly a true story...
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer ( Unfortunately, he forgot his wife's exact e-mail address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs.Joan Johnson ( of New Jersey, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.

When she was finally revived by her daughter, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."


The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile.

Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds to hop on Route 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 miles per hour and, WHAM, there are the blue lights of our friendly State Police in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. Seeing who it was the trooper says "just a moment please I need to call in."

The trooper radio's in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do."
The chief replies "Who is it, not Ted again ?"
The trooper says,"No, even more important."
The chief replies, "It's the Governor, is it?"
The trooper replies "No, even more important."
"It's isn't the President is it?"
"No, more important", replies the trooper.
"Well WHO the HECK is it!", screams the chief.
"I don't know" says the trooper. "But he's got the Pope as a chauffeur!"


A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to GOD, U.S.A., they decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy $5.00. Mr. President thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to the little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to GOD that read: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those devil's deducted $95.00




And this one is THE best.




An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!" (..turn from your sin...) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"

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