I was talking about this in the boys vs. girls, and I figured I would post it

 

896,542,787,752,466 X 698,875,558,422

            Math is hard. Everyone knows it, but some people like it. When your home schooled it's still hard, but -

            As Pamela Briolette entered into her new school, she didn't know what to feel. If she was sad or happy or what. She had been home schooled, all her life and now didn't know what to expect. Pamela liked to learn, but she didn't know how she would learn anything, with all the noise. At her house she had peace and quiet. Here it was all noise.

            Pamela, to her delight, soon found that once in the class room, all quieted down. At her home history was always upbeat. Here, it was flat and boring. At her home, gym had been rollerskating with other home schoolers. Here, gym was like a zoo. Everything was different.

            Pamela was delighted, when she found out that math class was next. She loved doing math. Since it was the first day of school, she knew that there would be no test. But she wondered if there would be one tomorrow. So on her way in, she asked one of her class mates if there would be one the next day. He answered saying, “How should I know ?” She decided to ask the teacher on her way out.

            For some reason, that day math was boring. She didn't even have any questions. She always had questions. Math here was just a lecture, she almost wished there had been a test that day. Once it was over, she went to the teacher and asked if there was a test tomorrow.

            He told her there would be a test. “In fact I forgot to tell everyone about it. Well at least you will know about it. I have to warn at least one student. It is going to be a normal test except, the last problem is the famous Parker problem. Ed Parker is our school founder, he made up the problem. No one (without a calculator) has figured it out.”

            “I have to warn at least one student about it, because I have to give them the problem. So that they can, try to figure it out before the test. That way they have a chance. Not much of one, but a chance. The problem is: 896,542,787,752,466 X 698,875,558,422 divided by 98,576 + 8,565,763. I hope you have fun trying to figure it out.”

            Now before the story is over, I want you ( yes, you) to try to figure out the problem (no touching a calculator, don't even think about it). Just remember, how your math teachers taught you how to multiply and all the rest. - have fun! Now back to the story.

            Pamela stayed up all night trying to find the answer. Finally she went to bed, so that she could get some rest. The next day she was bursting with energy. She left as soon as possible, drawing odd looks from her parents. She didn't even wait for the bus, she rode her bike to school. Even though she knew she would not get it right, she wanted to answer the problem.

            When Pamela finally got to math class, she could barely contain her excitement. She eagerly got in to her seat. Once everyone was in their seat, the test was passed around. It was then, that she saw the questions. In the 'elementary school test' there were questions like: 38,765 X 3,774,213 .

            By question 6 the kid behind her was crying, by question 10 the girl who, looked like a total braineeack, was crying. By question 20 everyone involved with the test was DEAD. No one shall ever

know how they died, lack of brain cells or old age.

            Here ends Pamela Briolettes story. I hope I got my point across.

 

P.S. In case you were wondering, the answer to the Parker problem is :

 6,355,415,302,528,327,209,245

I'm just that smart.

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i almost did this past summer.

Yeah, no you didn't.

well, yeah. cause i'm talking to you guys.

unless this is just what afterlife is like.

or coma-like dream.....

 While it is probably impossible to die by thinking too much, it is possible to think about dieing from thinking too much. And if you think too much and still don't get it, it's possible that your teacher will get upset and turn psycho-killer, and you will die. Although that is not what happened in this story, that would an interesting basis for another story. . .

 

anyway, whatever. It's called fiction for a reason

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