Make as many not-obvious spoilers as possible.

The titanic sunk.

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You evil human

Mario can jump.

Jaws has teeth

Crash Bandicoot spins a lot.

Sonic is fast

Yoshi, Kirby, and Pac-Man eat

Peter Parker is Spider-Man

Back to the Future has a time traveling DeLorean

(You're doing fine. )

Harry Potter uses a wand

K.I.T.T. is a car

Superman is an alien



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