Make as many not-obvious spoilers as possible.

The titanic sunk.

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Yeah, MARCH BIRTHDAYS FOR THE WIN!!!!

 Umm, Jesus died. 

Peter: "Were you killed?!?!"

Jesus: "Sadly, yes. BUT I LIVED!!"

Disciples: "Phew..."

Jesus ate a piece of broiled fish. (For some reason, him asking for the fish is my favourite part in the gospel. 'Hey I just got resurrected. I'm hungry!'.)

Amen, brotha'!!

Topology makes no sense!

Sampson really shouldn't have trusted that girl.

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